I was the best Mom in history.... before I became one :)

We're in a really great stage with Katelyn right now. Even though she's getting four teeth all at once she is a ton of fun. She's napping better (praise the Lord) and she absolutely cracks me up. She's a clown... we're really starting to watch her personality develop and I love it. We have quite the persister on our hands... should make the 2s and 3s interesting:). During the last week I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the past 10 months... our lives since Katelyn entered it and here's what I want to share with you:

Best Mom of the year award... me for sure.... before I became one.... It's true. I thought I had it all figured out. Since age 14 I've babysat over 200 kids (I have each of their names written down in prayer journals... can't remember the exact number but it was definitely over 200) ranging from 6 weeks to 16 years. No matter what the situation I knew what to do. It wasn't until recently that I realized that perhaps this was the case because the Mom always told me what to do... duh! When I had Katelyn I was humbled and since then I've been humbled again and again and again.

The truth is this Mom stuff is a lot harder than I ever thought. Mostly I've struggled with all the many choices and decisions one has to make for the baby every single day (insert reminder that Mom's of kids I babysat made those decisions for me). When to feed, what to feed, when to drop them (the feedings, not the baby! :), what to enforce, what to let slide, etc. etc. I desire what is best for her health, her development, her mind, her heart, and I am constantly wondering what the best even means. I over think everything. Do you blame me? Just about every older woman I see in public tells me to seize the moment... "you don't get these days back... they go by so fast." I read a great blog post about that recently. It reminded me that I need to chill out... have fun with baby Katelyn and stop worrying about screwing her up for life! It also challenged me to be a great encourager to other Mom's. In 2012 I hope to kick my judgmental thoughts out the window and give Mom's the benefit of the doubt. Give them a good ole atta-girl pat on the behind (or perhaps a smile and encouraging word will do.. gone are my basketball days:) instead of a "what are you thinking" stare. I encourage you to do the same.

Ultimately all the decisions one has to make as a Mom doesn't end when a child reaches a certain age. In fact I'm sure it only gets harder. My solution? Well, for now I'm going to pray for wisdom and trust that motherly instinct the Lord gives us. I'm going to love on my little girl and enjoy my time with her. I'll be honest about the hard days. I will believe that this baby girl is in the hands of her Father. His grace will cover my mistakes.